Reality
by Nivena
Summary: One thing leads to another, and now Luffy's stuck taking care of a ten-year old Ace. All the while, something more dangerous is afoot. I'll just be surprised if nobody ends up losing it. Fem! Luffy, DifferentDevilFruit! Luffy, Swearing, some (read: a lot) OOC.
1. Prologue

_My newest fic, Reality! Props to anybody who can guess why it's called that. You probably won't until the later chapters. So, unlike my other fics,(the ones I had to delete for lack of an idea on where it's going), this one has had the rough plot planned out from beginning to end. I hope you'll like it!_

**_I do not in any way own One Piece, just my freak brain babies._**

* * *

~Prologue~

If one tiny thing had happened differently, the world as we know it would be completely changed. If one bullet's course had strayed a millimeter to the left, if one man had set his sights on a different woman, if one person was gone from the world instead of another, everyone we know would never have existed.

Now, contrary to how most people think, Marshall D. Teach was never actually inherently bad. Nor was he inherently good. He simply existed, as small children tended to do. A series of events, however, changed that.

You see, when Teach was a child, at the tender age of nine, his mother, the only person he was ever close with, was ripped from the world by a swaggering fool with a gun, who's actions, if erased, would have changed the course of history.

When his mother was shot before his very eyes, Teach realized something. Teach was a coward by nature. So, instead of owning up to his faults, thinking that he needed to get stronger to protect what he cared about, he instead believed something completely different.

Only those with enough power can stay in this world. Others were not worth keeping alive.

His mother did not have enough power.

So, he sought after power.

Years later, his quest for it brought about the death of someone he called brother, the execution of the Pirate King's son, and then a war that massacred thousands.

All from a small choice years ago, in an insignificant town, from a half-drunk fool.

As a certain time-traveling alien once said, every choice we make could have been made differently. And each different choice creates parallel universes, which the results of those actions have created a new history entirely.

In one, not one bullet was spent, but two.

In one, Teach had died alongside his mother.

Yes, you heard that right. Teach, arguably the most hated character in One Piece, had been snuffed out like a light, never to make the mark on history he would have done so in any other timeline.

And that is where our story begins.

* * *

_Shortest prologue ever, right? I didn't even cross 500 words! Well, you guys have the right to rip me to pieces, but I promise that the next chapter WILL start getting the plot I promised in the summary. And all that mentioning of different universes, how do you think I'm going to work in a mini-Ace?_

_Well, until next week! (Or whenever I feel like updating this thing)_

_-Nivena_


	2. Your Sanity is Forfeit

_This story's already got such a positive review, and just from the super vague prologue too! Now the fun begins! *Cracks knuckles*_

_Also, I know that I put in minor OCs from time to time (Usually they don't play a big part, or they're dead), but this story will have a couple important OCs. I just don't know a way around doing that. They won't come until later on, and I've tried to make them as One Piece-ish as possible, but this is just a heads up. And they're villains, so they're not a Marie Sue that joins the crew. I've seen too many good stories ruined like that._

**_This story is mine, but One Piece isn't._**

* * *

The door creaked open, and an all-too-familiar face peeked in. I groan and glare at the man.

"I told you, I have no clue who you are." I snap at him. He walks in and sits on the edge of the bed that I had been forcefully chained to.

"We brought somebody in to see you." He announces. "We think you might know her."

"Who is she?" I groan, looking out the window at the calm ocean, facing away from him.

"Her name is Monkey D. Luffy."

I turned toward him so fast, I swear I got whiplash.

"That idiot? What's she doing here?" I ask, surprised. From what he and the other people who frequented my room told me, we were on the ship of the strongest man in the world, in New World. Not East Blue. Dammit, if she was here, she'd better be okay. The pineapple headed man looked over to the door.

It had opened, revealing a girl in her late teens, wearing a red T-shirt and jeans, with a weird yellow sash around her waist. She had a straw-hat hanging down from her neck, like Luffy's. I scrutinized her face, which looked kinda familiar. Large eyes, and a scar under one... the left one. Hair tied up into a ponytail, and a concerned expression. She quietly walked over next to the blonde man next to me, and spoke to him, never letting her eyes leave my face.

"Marco, is that Ace?" She asked quietly. Ah, right. The blonde man was called Marco.

"Yeah." He answered, staring at the two of us.

She dragged a chair over to the edge of my bed/prison and sat down. Finally, she spoke.

"Thatch says that you don't remember any of us." She announced.

"I don't know who Thatch is." I narrow my eyes. I _know_ I knew her. From somewhere.

"Do you remember me?" She asked, looking hopeful.

"I... think. I don't really know, but you look like someone I know." I admit honestly.

"I'm Luffy. Monkey D. Luffy." She states.

"No way! Luffy's seven, not seventeen!" I exclaim. "And she's in East Blue. There's no way a little kid like her could get all the way here!"

"I'm twenty." Luffy/Whoever she was, looked affronted. Marco face-palmed.

"That's what you're replying too?!" He shook his head.

"Anyways, prove you're my little sister." She was NOT Luffy. Well, she had the scar, and the hat. But, she couldn't be Luffy. Not possible.

"Ace, I'm older than you." She crossed her arms. I grumble a _'no, you're not' _under my breath.

"Well, you know how I have a devil fruit, right?" She asks, tapping one of her fingers.

"Yeah, Luffy had that weird telekinetic power." I put a mild emphasis on Luffy.

The girl in front of me lifted her hand, then it glowed blue. At the same time, another chair in the room glowed blue, and then slowly rose into the air, hovering slightly, then she set it down.

"Ace, you gotta listen to me. From what Thatch told me, you don't remember anything since you were ten. But I'm your sister, and these people around you are your family." She looked at me, pleading for me to listen. "Portgas D. 'Fire-fist' Ace, Second division commander of the Whitebeard armada, and normally a twenty-three year old man. And my older brother."

She held on to my hand, and for some reason, I didn't let go. Normally, I'd have beaten the crap out of her by now. "How much do you remember up till now?"

I scrunch up my eyebrows, then stare at everything around the room, trying to piece everything back together.

"It's okay." Marco said as Luffy removed her hand from mine.

"Well, you'll be staying on Luffy's ship, since you at least _remember _her name. Maybe she can help you recover your memories." Marco announced.

"Wait, what?" Luffy turned to Marco, staring at him with a _no way!_ expression. "Why not yours?"

"He's your brother."

"Yours too!" She put her hands on her hips.

"Maybe you can make him remember or something." Marco raised an eyebrow slightly. "And he's not safe here."

"He's not exactly safe on my ship either!"

I stared at the two adults arguing over who I was staying with while mulling over the information in my head. So I've lost my memories and got turned into a ten year old kid? Well, it made sense it a messed up way. If I was twenty-three, then Luffy WOULD be twenty. And she had the scar and hat. So maybe it was Luffy...

"I'm not taking care of my older brother! That's just weird!"

Argues like Luffy.

* * *

Bad joke. Luffy hated those words. They were SO CLICHE. But now, she kinda wished that it really was just a bad joke. From the moment that she had gotten the call that her older brother had lost all his memories and been turned into a ten-year old, she really hoped it was just a joke. She'd have beaten the crap outta them for doing that to her, but it would be better than... well... this.

Too bad the damn phoenix had no sense of humor.

She snuck another glance at her older-now-younger brother. It was way too weird to call him the younger brother. Argh, why does the shit always happen to them?

"Would you stop staring at me?" Her older-younger brother asked irritably.

"Isn't it weird to you too? I mean, you being younger than me?" She asked, looking at him closer.

"Whatever. Where am I?" He narrowed his eyes at his surroundings.

"The galley of the Thousand Sunny. My crew's on the Moby Dick, but when Sanji comes, he can make you some food." Luffy got up from the table and walked over to a small framed picture, picking it up and smiling.

"Who's Sanji?"

"My nakama. He doesn't like people wasting food and not eating, so you better accept your food." She smiled and passed the picture over to Ace. "Those are my nakama."

She knew that her crew was weird. She liked it that way. All of them misfits, and completely independent. Yet the perfect family.

"What are they like?" Ace asked quietly. Luffy smiled wider. After all, her family was his family. Even if he didn't remember meeting them several times (And accidentally setting them on fire on multiple occasions).

Speaking of that, he was taking it rather well. Maybe it was just because they were used to random shit happening to them. Which was probably not a good thing, but whatever. Well, he accepted her as his sister, probably since she didn't really change all that much. And the straw-hat was kind of a dead giveaway.

"You'll meet them when they come-"

Loud laughing and yelling spilled from beyond the closed door.

"back." Luffy finished, turning over to the door. It opened, revealing Nami dragging a very annoyed Zoro over.

"I told you, you damn sea witch! I wouldn't get lost!"

"Keep telling yourself that." Nami huffed, keeping a firm grip on the swordsman's collar.

"DON'T CALL NAMI-SWAN A WITCH, MARIMO!" The tell-tale cry of Sanji rang out as he began one regular fights with Zoro. According to Robin, they fought on average, around 64 times a day.

_BAM!_

_BAM!_

93% of which were broken up by Nami.

"So, that's Ace. As a kid?" Nami asked, pointing to the ten-year old next to Luffy who was looking at them all and comparing them to the picture.

"They look different." He remarked, comparing them again.

"Yeah, the picture was taken two years ago." Usopp said as he pointed to himself. "And there I am, the great captain... USOPP!"

"Sanji! Food! Me 'n Ace'r hungry!" Luffy cheered as she sat down.

"HAIIII LUFFY-CHWAAAN~"

"Aho chef."

"SHUT UP YOU TWO!"

Slowly, the rest of the Mugiwaras trickled in, glancing and outright staring at Ace, who was fidgeting and glaring at everyone.

"Marco told us he got turned into a kid, so now we're taking care of him. That right?" Franky asked, looking over at the feared second division commander of the Whitebeard Armada. Well, take the feared part out and you got it right.

"Eat up, kid." Sanji placed a plate in front of Ace, who narrowed his eyes and pushed it away.

"Nobody's going hungry on my watch." Sanji growled, forcing the plate back at Ace. Luffy smirked. Sanji's policy on going hungry was the biggest reason on why she chose to ask/beg his to join the crew. That and he made good food.

"Yohohoho! Ace-san refusing food? I can't believe my eyes! But I have no eyes to see with! SKULL JOKE!" Brook told his characteristic jokes, to which everybody rolled their eyes.

Ace finally noticed the... stranger... members of the crew, too which he stared at, then turned towards Luffy.

"Trust you to find the weirdest people around and make them your crew." He rolled his eye, and Luffy shrugged.

"It's not THAT weird. I mean, Torao-guy has a depressive polar bear for a first mate..."

"And we have a reindeer for a doctor." Zoro reminded her, drinking his sake slowly.

"And a sword wielding demon first mate." Usopp squeaked under Zoro's glare.

Suddenly, Ace fell face first into the plate that Sanji had shoved towards him, snoring slightly. Luffy sighed, then yelled as loud as she could...

"FIST OF LOVE!"

Ace awoke with a "HOLY SHIIIIIT!" that the crew had come to associate with the 'Fist of Love'.

He then glared at his sister, who was laughing her ass off.

"Bastard, you don't know what it's like!" He yelled at Luffy.

"Actually, I do. These jerks always wake me up like that." Luffy pointed to the rest of her crew, who were all doing random stuff.

"NOT MEEEE LUFFY-CHWAAAANNNNN~" Guess who.

"Aho chef." Our favorite moss headed swordsman grumbled from the corner.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

Cue the start of yet another of Sanji and Zoro's fights. Luffy took the opportunity to steal food by levitating it directly into her mouth, resulting in several curses, and in some cases forks, to be thrown at her.

Then Franky began yelling about how the were damaging the Sunny, too which Brook made his characteristic 'SKULL JOKE' too, and cued him to ask if Robin would show him her panties, resulting in a firm but polite 'no.'

Ace simply stared at the unfolding chaos.

"Welcome to the Thousand Sunny. Your sanity is forfeit." Usopp grinned at the young D.

* * *

_YAY, chapter 1 is UP!_

_I hate introductory chapters, because nothing fun ever happens, but I've got lots of fun planned ahead! And a little torture... but mostly fun!_

_Luffy's devil fruit is the Ido Ido no me. It gives her telekinetic powers, and although she can somewhat control living creatures, only those that have little willpower. Basically, if she can knock them out with her Haki, she can control them with her powers, although, controlling them doesn't make them slave puppets or anything, but she can float them, and then smash their heads together. However, if she wants to move, say, Ace, she needs to get creative._

_And now, I have been struck with inspiration for Different, because I forgot the plot I had in mind for it. But now I thought up a new one!_

_Ah, I fail so much. Oh well! Enjoy the earlier than usual chapter!_

_~Nivena_


	3. Let's never have a family reunion

_These chapter names are getting weird. Your Sanity is Forfeit? Let's never have a family reunion? What's next, I am NOT Sexually Attracted to Tables? Oh wait, that IS a future chapter name..._

_Oh well!_

_By the way, spoilers for those not very up-to-date with the manga. But if you're not up-to-date... well then... what are you doing reading fanfiction! GO READ MORE ONE PIECE._

**_Owning One Piece means that fan-fiction would be reality._**

* * *

The first thing to go wrong was the fact that the crew decided to take in the random guy clutching onto flotsam in the dangerous waters of New World.

The second was that the random guy turned out to be one of the Eleven Supernovas, the only one with a higher bounty than Luffy's, Eustass 'Captain' Kidd.

And the third was that they had a ten-year-old Whitebeard Pirate on board the ship.

They were in a crap-load of trouble.

**I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-****I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-****I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-****I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-****I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-****I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-**

Eustass Kidd was completely used to abnormal situations. You had to be if you were going to survive as a pirate in New World. However, he could honestly say that this was probably one of the weirdest things to wake up to.

First of all, there was this weird fur-ball raccoon that was humming to itself as it tended to his... injuries?

He was pretty sure that he was stuck on a piece of floating wood, back when he got annihilated (not that he'd ever admit it) by... somebody or the other. The strangest thing was that he couldn't remember what had happened. He remembered what had happened before everything... and the days out at sea, counting away the hours.

But now he felt rocking, so he was certain that he was on a ship. He groaned and got up, only to find that he was tied down with unusually strong ropes.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!" He yelled at the now quite frightened raccoon, who proceeded to run behind a desk and hide the wrong way. The raccoon whimpered, then straightened up.

"We found you out at sea, so we brought you here."

"WHY THE FUCK AM I TIED DOWN?" He raged, still struggling against the bonds. "AND WHAT THE HELL IS A FUCKING RACCOON DOING HERE?"

"I'M A REINDEER! And I'm the doctor!" The reindeer yelled right back, suddenly forgetting about being timid. However, when the door burst open with a loud _SLAM_, he remembered all about it.

"Why. The. Hell. Are. You. Two. Screaming. While. I'm. Working." The volatile navigator hissed out, looking suspiciously demonic.

"Sorry Nami! He started it!"

The feared 'Captain' Kidd soon had the living daylights punched out of him, courtesy of a very annoyed navigator.

"Oi, Nami! Have you seen the Den-Den address book?" Luffy asked, poking her head in through the door. A snail was floating in the air next to her, snoring away peacefully.

"I have it!" Chopper pointed to a black address book on the counter. Luffy smiled and walked towards it.

"Oi, Mugiwara! Where the hell am I!" Kidd yelled at the only familiar looking person in the room. The female captain turned to look at her rival, then smiled.

"You're on my ship, stupid! We found you floating, so we decided to bring you in."

"What for?"

"You're my friend, right?"

"I'm not your friend, dumbass! I'm your rival!" Kidd argued vehemently.

"Give it up. You're not gonna win." Nami groaned as she made her way out of the door.

"Neh, Luffy. Why do you need the address book anyways?"

"I need to call Gramps and Sabo about Ace." She stated, then flipped through the address book.

"Oi, Mugiwara! When can I get outta here?"

"When Chopper says your injuries are healed. And I'd stop struggling if I were you- or else Chopper will start throwing stuff at you." She smiled, then added "Besides. He's one of the best doctors there is."

"Bastard~ that doesn't make me happy!" Chopper squealed as he began doing his strange dance.

"Well, he's better then that creepy Surgeon of Death." Kidd conceded.

"Ah, you mean Torao-guy!" Luffy grinned, then furrowed her brow as she flipped through her book yet again. "ACE! GET DOWN TO THE MEDICAL BAY NOW!" She yelled at the ceiling.

"Mfwhrgm!"

"He said 'coming'" Luffy cleared up to the other two pirates. "I think he's gagged."

"What the hell is wrong with you people?" Kidd asked in annoyance.

"We have absolutely no clue." Chopper sighed. A couple loud noises and violent curses later, the freckled ten-year-old found his way down to the infirmary, and was in fact, gagged.

The gag glowed blue and was gently set down on the counter, and Ace sighed in relief.

"Who tied you up?" Luffy asked, flipping through the pages again.

"Sanji. He told me to get outta the kitchen. Stupid bastard." He grumbled darkly to himself.

"Why is there a little kid on your ship?" Kidd asked in confusion.

"He's my brother. And I got stuck taking care of him, because pineapple-head cheated." Luffy pouted, finally finding the number she was looking for.

"Didn't you fall asleep?" Ace asked.

"Shut up. You wanna talk to the old fart?" Luffy threatened.

"NO!" Ace yelled back, horrified.

"Thought not. Is it possible to punch someone over the snail?" Luffy asked, hesitantly dialing the number.

"Why the hell would you think that?" Kidd asked.

"Because gramps is SCARY." Luffy pointed out, then slowly held the snail as far away from her ear as possible.

"Purupurupurupuru-Purupurupurupuru Clank."

"Bwahahaha! HELLO!" The unmistakable sound of the Marine Hero, Garp, filled the room. Luffy and Ace proceeded to play hot potato with poor snail, while Kidd stared on in confusion, and Chopper ran behind a table, remembering past horrors that had to do with the man.

"Why the fuck are you guys calling a Marine Vice Admiral?" 'Captain' asked in confusion. They were most definitely all insane.

"Why'd you call him first?!" Ace whisper-yelled at Luffy.

"Because he was the first one on the page!" Luffy whispered heatedly back.

"What? Is it a wrong number or something?" The snail mimicked Garp's confused expression, oblivious to the four pirates.

"No... er... hi, Gramps." Luffy grabbed the snail and held it as far away from her body as possible.

"LUFFY! PIRATES CAN'T JUST CALL MARINES LIKE THAT!" The snail raged.

"Yeah... um... ACE, YOU TELL HIM!" Luffy threw the snail back at her older/younger brother.

The other pirate captain was very amused at the scene. He had no idea what the fuck was going on, but he was amused nonetheless.

"WHAT! HELL NO! DON'T DO THAT TO ME!" Ace screamed back and flung the snail back.

"Um... Tell Coby and Helmeppo I said hi! And that _acehasgottenturnedintolittlekidandI'mtakingcareofhimnow_." With that, Luffy promptly hung up, and she and Ace sighed in relief.

"I have no idea what is going on." The red-head stared at them all. Chopper ventured an explanation.

"Garp is Ace and Luffy's grandfather. And Ace got turned into a ten-year old, but we don't know how."

"Come on, Ace! I need to call Sabo!" Luffy began dialing another number into the snail, ignoring Ace's incredulous expression.

"Luffy, Sabo's dead." He pointed out. Kidd looked to Chopper for an explanation, since he was the only one who seemed inclined to do so, but Chopper merely shrugged and went back to making some medicine or the other.

"Oh, that's right! You don't remember! Whatever, you can punch him in the face again." Luffy looked back at the book, which was floating in front of her.

"EH?"

Luffy grinned, and the snail began to ring.

"Purupurupurupuru- Purupurupurupuru. Clank."

"Hello, Dragon speaking."

"..."

"This is so awkward." Ace stated.

"Shut up, Ace." Luffy glared at her brother, then promptly hung up. "Sabo can wait." She decided.

"WHAT? You told me Sabo's alive, and now you're making me wait!"

"Dragon? As in your dad?" Chopper looked at Luffy.

"I give up." Kidd moaned. "I need something to drink."

"Why'd you hang up?" Ace asked.

"It's kinda awkward to talk to the dad you've never known." Luffy said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Daddy issues?" Kidd asked, staring at the two siblings.

"Him. I just don't really know mine." Luffy pointed to Ace.

"Basically, our whole family's screwed up." Ace explained. Luffy snorted.

"And some of us are insane." She added. "Like Garp. What kind of person thinks leaving kids with mountain bandits will make them marines!"

"Throwing them off cliffs doesn't really help either." Ace added.

"That explains so much..." Chopper stated with a sweat-drop.

"And Luffy's stupider because Garp hits her more often!" Ace exclaimed.

"SHUT UP!" Luffy yelled back at him.

"It's true!"

"Whatever. I'm calling Dadan... what was her number again..." Luffy began punching in numbers on the much abused snail.

"WHO THE HELL IS CALLING US AT ONE IN THE FUCKING MORNING!"

"ME!" Luffy yelled back at the phone.

"WELL DON'T!"

"ACE IS TEN NOW!"

"Geez, way to break it to them." Ace muttered.

"EHHHH!"

"And I'm taking care of him. Bye!"

With that, Luffy hung up.

"This is getting kinda entertaining." Kidd remarked.

"Makino and Woop Slap deserve a call, right?" Ace asked.

"Yeah, I think I have their numbers." Luffy flipped through her handy-dandy address book again.

"Purupurupurupuru- Clank."

"Hello, Party's Bar!"

Luffy handed the Den-Den to Ace, who smiled.

"Makino!"

"Ace? You sound younger..."

"Yep, I got turned into a ten year old! And Luffy's taking care of me- though she's not doing a good job..."

"OI!"

"And her crew's insane!"

"Not my fault!"

"And bye!" Ace clicked off the Den-Den Mushi, then ducked as several objects flew at him.

"When can I go?" Kidd asked in annoyance.

"When your injuries heal!" Chopper exclaimed angrily. "And Sanji might give you food."

Right on cue, Sanji burst through the door. "Oi, shitty bastards and Luffy chwan~ I brought food!"

"Hi, Sanji!" Luffy smiled, then a snack floated off the plate and into her mouth. The plate was lifted off of Sanji's hands and then placed on the table. Chopper loosened Kidd's restraints so he could eat as well.

"Right, anybody want to call Sabo again?" Ace asked, holding up the Den-Den.

"You do it." Luffy stated, wiping her mouth. "I want to meet my dad in person."

Ace grabbed the Den-Den, then dialed the number Luffy was pointing at.

"Hello, Dragon."

"Ahh, ahh, tell Sabo to meet his sister and brother at.. ah... ah.. Shishama Island..."

Ace turned off the Den Den, then pointed to the scrawl on the address book, complete with the floating pencil.

"Seriously, you can't write any neater?"

"Hey!"

"DON'T INSULT LUFFY-CHWAANNN~" Sanji yelled, on fire (Literally!).

"Oi, you'll damage the ship!" Chopper fretted.

"Can I go?" Kidd demanded.

"Just join us for breakfast!" Luffy smiled, then slowly put down the pencil, book, and snail on the counter. Kidd's bonds were loosened, however, the low-grade sea-stone cuffs remained on his hands as insurance.

"How about we all agree _never_ to have a family reunion?" Ace suggested.

**I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-****I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-****I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-****I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-****I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-****I'm-a-line-breaker-got-it-**

Far away, on an island in West Blue, a man stood, looking out at the sea. Slowly, he smiled, and put on a straw-hat, which did not quite fit him. He watched silently as the waves crashed against the shoreline, calling out to him.

The man grinned, then laughed.

At first it was quiet, then it began increasing, until his whole body was convulsing in laughter.

"Watch out world. The Pirate King's coming back."

* * *

_Lovely. Isn't it? Almost no plot, and mostly just Luffy and Ace fooling around and calling people to tell them about Ace's condition. Oh, and they're meeting Sabo next chapter. So, the part about Kidd was plot-related. And the reason Luffy's a girl? So you know that the last part wasn't her (At least not the one from this universe). The last part is the begginings of a plot._

_Oh, and I promised Xandith that the next chapter would have a PMS-ing Luffy. It wasn't in this one, because she (Xandith) was being bad. And perverted._

_Good-day__,_

_Nivena_


	4. Vents are cliche

_Because they most definitely are._

_Sorry for not posting before. Well, actually, I'm not sorry. It was just that this chapter was really slow to write. NOTE- I will note be at home tomorrow, so don't expect anything else over the weekend. This is meant for Saturday._

_I got lot's of mixed ideas on who the person at the end was. Luffy from an AU, Roger, someone related to Roger, Shanks (?), Ace (?!), someone who had the straw-hat before Roger... etc._

_I AIN'T TELLIN'~_

_*flaunts the fact that I know and you don't*_

_Right. I promised Xandith that there would be a PMS-ing Luffy in this. And Kidd and Ace would be stuck dealing with it. And I went above and beyond and made SABO deal with it too! Yay!_

**You seriously want me to own One Piece?**

* * *

"Why the hell are we in a vent again, Marimo?" Sanji spat out from behind the resident swordsman.

"Because _someone _got Ace captured, and now we need to get him _out_ of the Marine base _without _Luffy knowing what happened, and it's all your damn curly-browed fault."

"How the hell is it my fault!"

"It just is!"

Luckily, the two pirates realized that decking it out in the middle of an air duct was a quite stupid idea indeed.

"Che. I'll kick your ass later, love-cook." Zoro muttered, moving forward again.

"Like you could, Marimo."

Some idiots never learn.

Soon, the two rivals reached one of those grate thingies that just so happened to _conveniently look into the room Ace was sitting in._

"That is _way _too convenient."

"Don't question it, Ero-cook. We don't want to get jinxed."

Ace happened to be tied to a chair, with a bunch of burly Marine guards attempting to get him to tell them what he was doing with the Straw-Hats.

"Do they have no pride?" Zoro gritted his teeth.

"Shitty marines." Sanji grounded out around his cigarette, that he for some reason lit and didn't set off smoke detectors with.

Of course, Sanji's thought process was along the lines of...

Luffy likes Ace. Luffy is girl. You like girls. Therefore, you like Ace.

Zoro's thought process was more like...

Get Ace back= Fight Marines= Does not have to deal with PMS-ing Luffy.

And thus, they both decided on something together for the first time in their life. Or at least this month. Getting Ace back.

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

"Oi, oi, you said you'd let me go after I had food with you!" Kidd complained (,but not really since Kidd is a pirate captain, and pirate captains don't do 'complaining').

"Yeah, well screw that." Luffy grumbled, dragging Kidd along telepathically, via his huge coat. You see, Kidd really liked his coat. So it was either get dragged along by an insane (and PMS-ing) female pirate, or lose his precious fur coat. So Kidd could sacrifice a bit of his sanity. It was for his coat, after all.

"Where are we going, anyways?" Kidd grumbled, lifting his feet every so often so he didn't catch himself on protruding rocks and accidentally rip his coat. Why were all the roads on Shishama island so coarse and bumpy?

"Find the idiot brother. Punch idiot brother. Bring idiot brother to other idiot brother. Watch other idiot brother punch idiot brother."

"That was _so _helpful." Kidd grumbled, then was immediately slammed into a metal pole. What that pole was doing there, Kidd had no idea.

"Just look out for weird shit." Luffy sighed, scanning the alleys between buildings.

"Like that?" Kidd pointed at an odd blonde sap in a rather tight fitted dress, fighting off several attackers. Luffy sighed again.

"Yes. That."

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

"Idiot marimo! We need a plan!"

"Go in. Kick ass. Get Ace. Get out. There. I have a plan." Zoro rolled his eyes.

"That's not a plan, shitty muscle head!" Sanji gave Zoro a one-eyed glare, which Zoro was more then glad to return. Sanji finally sighed and sucked on a cancer-stick in a vent, somehow. Because One Piece defies logic. Got it?

"We need to get out of this vent first." Sanji said.

"Good. This sneaking around is bad for my pride."

"WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT YOUR SHITTY PRIDE!" Sanji exploded. Quietly. It wouldn't do to alert the Marines of their presence, thereby alerting Luffy of his failure to protect her older/little brother, thereby alerting the gods that there were new entrants in hell.

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

Sabo was not having fun. He was in a dress. A very tight, movement constricting dress. That was pink. And trying to beat off some weird pirate/bounty-hunter/marine wannabee/he didn't even know anymore's off. And the worst part? His little sister was watching, smiling and observing casually, a poor rival captain suspended in the air next to her.

"Are you gonna help or something?!" He yelled at Luffy who was picking her nose.

"Help? Oh, sure!" A nearby brick glowed blue before making a bee-line towards Sabo's head. He batted it away and glared at the young Supernova.

"I meant help _me_!"

"Now you feel how I felt when you forced me to wear a dress." Luffy commented off-offhandedly. Sabo couldn't contain his anger.

"THAT WAS WHEN YOU WERE SEVEN!"

"So? It's still annoying." She smirked.

Sabo let loose a few choice words, which resulted in a bar of soap flying into his mouth.

"Why the hell do you even _have_ a bar of soap?!" Sabo yelled as he spat it out.

"I won't tell if you won't tell why you're in a dress." Luffy proposed

Sabo sighed and smashed another guy's face in, frowning as his staff collected a bit of blood.

"Well, that's a healthy brother-sister relationship. Trying to kill each other." Kidd sighed.

"When I first met him, he tied me to a tree and tried to kill me." Luffy rolled her eyes.

Sabo grunted as he attempted to kick a guy away, only to realize that his feet could really only move about three inches apart. Ending in him falling flat on his back. Luffy sighed. "Fine, I'll help him. He looks pathetic. Sabo, let me control you, would you?"

"Finally!"

The top hatter's body glowed blue, as he was suddenly sent barreling into the remaining attackers.

"This was not how I meant 'help'." He grumbled.

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

"How the hell did you get us lost!" Zoro grumbled to Sanji, who yelled back-

"You're the one in front!"

"These vents keep moving!"

"No, they don't! You're just _lost_."

"I am not, aho chef!"

"Yes you are, Marimo!"

"Dartboard."

"Muscle-head."

"Love-cook."

"Misogynist."

"Pervert."

Finally, they engaged in a short scuffle, thereby breaking the venting, and sending them crashing down in front of a group of patrolling Marine soldiers.

"Of course." Sanji sighed.

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

"Whaddaya mean he's ten!" Sabo screamed in protest as he, Luffy, and an unwilling Kidd walked on.

"I mean, that he is physically and mentally ten. Geez, I thought you were the smart one." Luffy shook her head.

"Oi, oi! I am!"

"Well, fuck that!" Luffy sighed, rubbing her forehead.

Sabo turned to the other male as she stalked away.

"Is it her time of month?" He asked Kidd, who simply nodded in defeat. Sabo winced.

"Ouch, mate. That's gotta hurt." He sympathized.

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

After a sound mopping of the rather dirty floor with the Marine's faces, Zoro walked off in a random direction, to which Sanji grabbed him by his collar and went in the opposite direction.

"Oi, oi, do you even know where you're going?" Zoro asked in annoyance.

"No. But I'm going in the opposite direction, since you obviously would get hopelessly lost." Sanji reasoned with a sigh.

"How do you know that?!" Zoro exclaimed in annoyance.

"Because you're an idiot."

"Says the pervert."

Any further bickering was interrupted by yet another Marine patrolling squad.

"Geez, where are they all coming from?"

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

Kidd had just simply resigned himself to be dragged along by a rather insane, and emotionally unstable, female rival pirate captain. He had _not_ signed up to be dragged along with her brother as well. Who was in a dress. A rather awkward dress that didn't allow much movement past a slightly shuffling walk. Well, to be fair, he didn't sign up for the first part either.

But still, he was not enjoying this. He _could_ be with Killer and the rest, enjoying a nice, gory, bloody, massacre. But noooo. The gods had cursed him to be forced into being dragged along by a girl with a lower bounty then him, in full view of everyone. His reputation was never going to recover from this blow.

"So, where'r we going."

"Dunno."

Didn't help that she was also an idiot.

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

"This is getting annoying." Sanji sighed as he blew out some of the smoke from his cancer stick. Zoro grunted in agreement. Finally, they came to a door, and they walked in, expecting to finally find Ace.

Instead, they found a kitchen, and a man singing terrible off key while shaking his ass and flipping pancakes.

Lovely image there.

"Well, that was something I could have gone without seeing." Zoro remarked. Sanji nodded very slowly, and they both beat a hasty retreat out the door.

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

"Mm, let's get food." Luffy decided, turning sharply to a bar. Kidd had decided long ago that asking her to 'put him the fuck down' was quite useless, and let himself get dragged around by the coat to whatever weird shit she was always getting into. He was just lucky there weren't any powerful government officials around, or else she might just punch one of them. Again

"How the fuck did you deal with this?" He asked the temporary cross dresser.

"Didn't have to. I died when she was seven."

With that, he walked after her, tripping only once.

"That is one weird family." Kidd muttered to himself as he felt the coat pushing him forward, maybe to his doom. With Straw-Hat, he never knew.

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

"Marimo! I think this is Ace's room!"

"And how do you know that? I'm getting tired of this!"

"It's the only door that hasn't been smashed down." Sanji deadpanned as he kicked the door open. True to his word, they found a bound and gagged Ace being hit constantly by rather fat men in marine outfits.

"HOW DARE YOU HURT THE BROTHER OF MY BELOVED LUFFY~CHWANN!" Sanji flew into a righteous rage, complete with flames, reminiscent of Ace's before he got de-aged.

"Che. Dartbrow, save me some." Zoro grumbled as he pulled a sword out.

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

"I feel like someone's beating somebody up brutally." Kidd remarked casually. How he desperately wished he could do the same. Luffy tilted her head.

"Hmm. You're right." She then turned her attention back to her plate of food. Which became empty in a couple seconds. Kidd was amazed by her appetite.

"So, where's the mini Ace?" Sabo asked after downing his plate with a bit better manners.

"Oh, yeah! He's with Zoro and Sanji." She smiled, then it dropped. "We still haven't figured out how he lost his devil fruit."

"What about Thatch's fruit? The Yami Yami no mi? That shuts off devil fruit powers too, right?" Sabo asked.

"Thatch needs to touch him to make it stop." Luffy sipped her drink again. "And why would he do that anyways?"

"Maybe it's another devil fruit power?" Sabo frowned, and Luffy shrugged. "He can swim, too."

"Kinda hard to believe a power that can take away another guy's power." Kidd piped up, downing another tankard of beer.

"Nusumu Nusumu no mi?" (thief thief fruit) Luffy offered.

"Weird ass power."

"Says the guy who's a human magnet." Luffy shot back.

"Shut up."

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

"What took you guys so long?" Ace smirked as his gag was removed.

"Shut it, shitty pip squeak." Sanji grumbled as he untied the rest of the ropes.

"Don't tell Luffy about this." Zoro pleaded to Ace.

"Why not?" Ace said, with a devilish smirk.

"Because I won't give you any food if you do." Sanji sucked on his cancer stick again.

"And if I don't tell, will you give me extra food?"

"Fine." Sanji turned on heel, and Ace pumped his fist in victory.

死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死死

After leaving Kidd at the bar, Sabo and Luffy walked back to the Thousand Sunny together, swapping stories and laughing. When they got back to the ship, Luffy was mildly surprised to see a bit out of breath Zoro and Sanji along with a smirking Ace.

"Luffy, we need to go! The Marine's caught onto us!"

Luffy shook her head, and the five of them glowed blue, and slowly floated, then depositing themselves on the deck of the Sunny.

"How come they're coming after us?" Luffy asked in confusion.

"We bumped into a couple patrolling squads." Sanji explained. Ace nodded along after a prod from Sanji. Luffy shrugged.

"Good thing the pose sets in an hour." She ran off to tell the rest of the crew, who were all gathered on deck.

Sabo turned to the remaining trio. "My sister may be gullible, but I'm not. What really happened?"

"Vents are cliche." Was Zoro's answer.

* * *

_And now the Marines have spotted mini Ace along with the rest of the Mugiwaras. And Sabo has come onto the crew!_

_Hope you liked it, Xandith! Next is going to involve even more Marines!_

_(Not really) Sorry for the wait!_

_~Nivena_


	5. STOP SOPA

**Okay, not a new chapter.**

**I believe I cleared this up on my bio, that I wouldn't be posting anything until March 30. But an issue was brought to my attention.**

**.**

**Doubtlessly, many of you have seen this around the site. A certain campaign.**

**.**

_**STOP SOPA**_

**.**

**This is a campaign to remove ALL online piracy. Which means, many sites that offer free TV episodes and the like will be shut down. But more importantly...**

**.**

**.**

**This campaign will destroy Fanfiction itself.**

**.**

**.**

**Please, I implore you. Help us destroy this dastardly beast which is threatening to shut down our beloved site forever. Keep on fighting.**

**SOPA is dangerously close to winning this war. **

.

_**WE FF AUTHORS CAN NOT! I REPEAT, NOT! LET THIS HAPPEN!**_

_**.**_

**This beloved site has helped many aspiring authors gain the courage to write there own books. This is an INSTRUMENTAL part of the internet.**

**.**

**So, please, sign the petition.**

~Nivena


End file.
